Christmas Season Take Down
by Nick's Derringer Girl
Summary: Don't you just hate to take down the decorations? Well so do certain Fullmetal characters! Chapter one has all the Humunculi... Let the Christmas Chaos begin!
1. The Humunculi

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Fullmetal alchemist or any of its characters or concepts.

Gen: Wow! First Fullmetal fic…

DK: Hope it's good…

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"Oh I just hate taking down the Christmas decorations!" Lust moaned as she packed away ornaments. "Gluttony, please don't eat that…"

"But, Lust, it looked good," Gluttony said. He was eating one of the tree ornaments that looked like a gingerbread man. More than half of it was already gone.

"Blinky lights!" Wrath yelled trying to pull the plug from its socket and making the lights blink. BZZT! "Ow…"

Yes, it was that time of year again, time to take down the Christmas decorations that lined almost every room of the Humunculi's headquarters. They all had their own little "jobs". Lust had to supervise Gluttony and Wrath while they took down the tree. Greed and Pride had to remove the 5,000 piece village from its hallway and put it back in the basement, and Envy and Sloth had to do the rest of the random stuff lining the walls and the outdoor light display.

"Why, again do we even bother to put this stuff up?" An agitated Greed asked Pride who was handing him the stuff that he then had to smother in bubble wrap.

"Only 4,381 pieces to go…" Pride sighed.

Upstairs, Envy threw anything "Christmas" that he could find and rip off of a wall or a table, or even the floor, at Sloth who was holding open a huge box to catch the array of unidentifiable flying objects UFOs coming mainly at her head.

"… This one's full," She said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, but I'm not stopping until this is over with," Envy said, launching another barrage at her. She had to quickly drop that box and find another as Envy continued his "attack".

As you can plainly see, things aren't going to well. Especially since everyone is paired up completely wrong. These people so obviously don't work well together. The groups were formed by names drawn out of a hat. The only reason that Lust and  
gluttony are together is because Gluttony threatened to eat whoever opposed him. He really is loyal.

"Wrath, are you done with those lights yet?" Lust asked the young boy.

"Uh, I'm trying to fix them," he replied.

"Why do they need to be fixed?" She then angrily asked him.

"One went out, so I tried to shove it back in the hole. After that they all went out. Can you help me?" he suddenly asked.

"No," she mercilessly replied. Then she noticed that only about half of the ornaments were actually making it to the box. "Gluttony." An extremely audible crunching sound was heard. "I thought I told you _not_ to eat those!" She screamed at the suddenly frightened Humunculus. "Sorry, Lust," he replied. "Do it again and you _will be sorry_," she coolly told him, extending her razor-sharp nails.. "I happen to like those."

Upstairs, with Envy and Sloth there was actual progress.

"Done!" Envy sang as he threw the last wreath at Sloth, who easily caught it. "Let's go and do the downstairs," he grinned an evil grin.

"… We're not supposed to go down there until Lust and the others are down with the tree and village," she said.

"Would you _rather_ do the outside lights?" he casually asked her.

"… No," she replied and followed him as he made his way down the stairs collecting the garland which was neatly wrapped around the hand railing. Except, he wasn't exactly "collecting" the garland, it was in reality more like "shredding" it and putting it in the box carried by Sloth. "… Lust is going to get mad at you for this," she told him.

"Who cares," he shrugged it off easily. But, just then, Sloth pointed at a figure coming down the hall pretty quickly.

"SHEDIDIT!" Envy shouted, pushing Sloth out and into Lust's war path.

"Yeah, right, Palm Tree!" she angrily shouted and then stretched her nails in his direction. "You _will_ care when I'm done with you…"

"… Told you so," Sloth cheered as Envy ducked, narrowly missing Lust's attack.

In the hallway next to the stairs, Greed and Pride heard the racket, but paid it no mind.

"1,354 … 1,355 … 1,356 … 1,357…" Pride counted. THUMP! "Dammit, I lost count again!" he said as Greed groaned and emptied the boxes that were already so neatly packed. They were also supposed to count in case even just one precious item was missing.

"I hate you," Greed said.

"I hate you too," Pride replied.

"If you screw this up one more time, I'm gonna kill you," Greed said.

"I'd kill you , but that Fullmetal runt already did," Pride laughed.

"…"

"What? Did I make you mad?"

"…"

Greed stood up.

"Oh, shit!" Pride said and ran through the hall, hotly pursued by an angry Greed. As they ran many "precious items" fell, crashed, and broke. Suddenly, Pride turned around and pulled Greed's scarf, strangling him. Too bad, he pulled a little too hard and it broke.

"You don't know how dead you just made yourself…" Greed said and jump-tackled him. They continued fighting, and didn't notice that Gluttony had entered the room.

"Yum," he said, picking up a glass house. He didn't even notice the chaos erupting around him. Suddenly, Lust walked in, dragging a fainted Envy behind her. Sloth followed behind.

SHUK-SHUK-SHUK-SHUK-SHUK-SHUK-SHUK

That pretty much ended the fun for this year. And, yes, everyone _did_ survive, but some are still suffering severe or minor injuries.

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Gen: So… whaddya think? The next chapter will be of Ed and Al.

DK: Yup yup! And don't forget to review!


	2. Ed and Al

DISCLAIMER: We do not own Fullmetal alchemist Hagane no Rekinjutsushi, or any of it's characters… OR… anything else that we have neglected to mention.

Gen: Hey, all!

DK: Sorry it took so long… Exams are really slowing us down…

Gen: AaAaAaAahhh! Don't even mention the word "study" ever again, or else I may kill you. I really mean it.

DK: Erm, anyways, please enjoy this next installment!

Gen: Ohyeah. We weren't sure where sure exactly where Ed and Al _live, _so we have them helping take down the Rockbell's stuff.

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"Hurry up, Al," Ed said as he carried a box to the attic of the Rockbell's house.

"I'm trying, Big Brother, but I'm having a hard time fitting through the hole to the attic," Alphonse replied. You see, the "attic" was really just a crawl space with a step ladder, and Alphonse is big so he is having quite the house-threatening experience.

"Fine, then," Ed said. "Just hand me the boxes and I'll stack them up."

"Okay."

"Are you two almost done with the tree decorations?" Winry hollered from another room. "There are more boxes that go up there and more stuff to put away. Since you're here, the least you can do is help us out, Shorty."

"Who're you calling so small they can't help out?" Ed screamed and lunged off the ladder, trying to get to Winry.

"But, Ed, she didn't say any of that," Alphonse rationed.

"Argh!" Ed yelled.

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"We've gotta get these lights put away," Pinako told the boys.

"Okay," Alphonse replied.

"Just don't break any," she warned Al. Even if he did he wouldn't be able to help it, considering his large size and metal body.

"Don't worry, we'll do this right!" Ed assured her as she walked back inside. "C'mon, Al, let's get started."

"Okay," Alphonse said and began to take the lights off the house while Ed started on the bushes. Ed cant reach the house lights, after all.

"Eep!"

"Al, was that you?" Ed asked, wondering if his brother had put another cat into his armor. "It's a nice day so just let the poor thing go, will you?"

"Big Brother, I don't have a cat in my armor this time," Alphonse replied.

"Then… What was that noise?"

"Eep! Eep, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" It said again.

"Oh," Ed said, looking at the ground. There was a little squirrel staring up at him. "Hey there, little guy!" Ed said to it.

"Um, Ed, you might not want to go near it." Alphonse said, cautiously.

"Why not?" Ed asked, smiling. "Can I pet you?" He asked the furry little creature.

"You probably shouldn't…" Alphonse warned once more. But he was too late because Ed was already extending his hand out to the squirrel. Just as he neared it's head, it bit him.

"Hey! That wasn't very nice!" Ed said chasing the poor, little, scared animal. It had unknowingly bitten his right hand. And probably gotten the shock of it's life. "Get back here!" Ed yelled and ran after it.

"Ooh, Ed, I _told_ you not to pet it…" Alphonse said following Ed.

"Zraah!" Ed breathed and transmuted a wall in front of the squirrel's path.

"Eeep! Eep!" It fretted, not knowing which way to turn.

"Ed, STOP! You're scaring the poor thing!" Alphonse said, running up to the defenseless animal. It seemed less scared to know that Alphonse liked it.

"Fine, let it go," Ed sighed.

"Bye, little guy!" Alphonse said as he released it from his hand and it ran away, probably never to return out of fear more than anything else.

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"You boys did a good job," Pinako told Ed and Al at dinner later that night. "Did you have any trouble?"

"Uuh… no?" Ed replied looking at Alphonse, who just laughed.

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Gen: Yay! Another happy ending!

DK: o.0 You call getting bitten by a rabid squirrel a _happy ending_? You really _are_ twisted…

Gen: We were gonna do Scar next, but…

(flashback)

Scar: I do not celebrate this "Christmas".

Gen: Sure you do!

Scar: What is this "Christmas"?

Gen: It's when Jesus was-

Scar: You mean Ishbala.

Gen: No, well… whatever.

Scar: That aside, I have no "house".

Gen: We can work around that!

Scar: No, we cannot. I'm sorry for this… (lunges for Gen's head) Almighty God, please- DK: That's as far as you go! (punches and shocks Scar)

(end flashback)

DK: See? No Scar available for talking to…

Gen: He's _disturbed_ I tell you!

DK: Uh, bye! Please R&R!


End file.
